Cancer Sucks!!!!!!

Well, normally I would think saying something like that was very negative. Since I have been diagnosed with leukemia I have heard that statement from many leukemia patients and even people that work here in the hospital. I always thought; that is not a very good attitude to have. Well after the day I had yesterday and the day I am having today, I am going to join in saying that cancer really does suck. I mean literally it does. It literally does suck the life out of you. I feel that I am a pretty strong person and I am not going to go through this without a big fight, but there are those moments that you just have to say enough is enough for now.


It all started because on Tuesday I developed a fever. Now when you are a leukemia patient a fever is a HUGE deal! Especially when you have no white blood cells, which is my case right now. A fever means your body has an infection and it has nothing to fight it off. So they try to find the source of the infection so they can treat it accordingly. Meaning lots of blood samples and tests. I have only spiked a fever for a three day period after my first round of chemo, but it went away when treated with all the antibiotics. I lucked out because after my second round I was able to dodge the fever. I thought I could dodge it again after this third round but it has hit me pretty hard. I also developed this major bruise on my left arm, which we thought was just from these neopogen shots they are giving me in my arm daily to stimulate my white cells. But then it started growing larger and the pain is now shooting down my entire arm. It is very painful. So as that was going on they were taking "blood cultures" from the central IV line in my chest to see if it came back with bacteria. Well all three of my lines came back positive for bacteria, so only thing to do is remove it. So here we go with the tests and procedures. I started these at 2pm and didn't return to my room until almost 8pm.



List of doctors orders for me yesterday



1. Receive one unit of platelets.

2. Get an echo cardiogram.

3. Visit with a infectious disease specialist.

4. Visit with a dermatologist.

5. Have a skin biopsy done.

6. Receive a second unit of platelets.

7. Get a Picc line in my arm.

8. Have my Hickman triple lumen removed.

9. Have an MRI done on my arm.

10. Have a CT scan on my chest.

11. Blood Culture



WOW, I don't know about you but to me that was WAY TOO much to do in one day!! Also considering the fact that my white count in zero, so my energy level is also really low. Normal people have 6,000- 10,000 white blood cells to function on and I don't have any. So needless to say I wasn't too excited with the doctors for making me go through all of that at once. By the time I returned to my room I was EXHAUSTED and in a lot of pain. Probably the most pain I have had since I have been here, but it was probably amplified by being upset. So I called for some pain medication. It took them forever and when the nurse came in I was crying my eyes out. They knew I must be in pain because they have never seen me cry before. And to be honest I have never cried like that since I have been in the hospital. I was done!!! My body had had it.



So today has been pretty rough too. Nothing compared to yesterday but my body is just in pain (mostly my left arm). That is why it is taking forever to write this blog because I am using one hand most of the time. I have been needing constant pain medication and have been confined to the bed all day. But here are some pictures of some of the things I got done yesterday. I have to confess they are shot I got off the Internet because I didn't have my camera. But they might just give you a visual if you don't know what some of these things are.

These are blood culture bottles. It is filled a 1/4

of the way with "sugar water" then the rest of

it they fill with my blood. They do these every

24 hours as long as fevers persist.

This is a CT scan machine. I had a chest exam

in this. It only lasted 3 minutes. Not too bad.

This is an echo cardiogram machine.

This is an MRI machine. I had a study done of

my arm. It lasted a little over an hour.

This is a picture of a skin biopsy. They stick a

small needle in your skin to numb the infected

area. Then they cut a core piece of skin out. Then

stitch you back up.

So here is a picture of a Picc line. Like the one they put in my arm yesterday. (I know it is a plastic arm). But that was the best pic of it I could find. So just imagine it in my arm.

But I am really hoping that in the near future I can kick this fever and start feeling good again. But I guess for now pain meds will have to do (says the person who HATES taking medicine). Boy am I having to get over that real quick.